It has been a while since I saw a movie that made me feel dirty. And not dirty in a sexy way, but in a moral way. Rambo starts with some documentary footage of real people in Burma suffering, combined with a short history lesson.… Read the rest
Untraceable is an enjoyably crappy thriller, that makes you ponder the validity of the title. The lead is a single mother who works for the FBI, researching internet crimes. She stumbles upon a site on which a kitten is tortured on a live-feed cam, while this is being discussed in an adjoining chatroom.… Read the rest
Juno just had sex for the first time at sixteen and finds herself with a bun in the oven. What to do: abortion or adoption? Friends and parents weigh in, but it will have to be her choice. And that first choice leads to other difficult choices that have to be made about her baby’s future.… Read the rest
Aliens vs. Predator – Requiem delivers exactly what was advertised, no more, no less. While the title characters duke it out in a small town in America, plenty of humans – often entirely defenceless – get caught in the fray and are duly slaughtered in a variety of nasty ways.… Read the rest
Sweeney Todd as filmed by Tim Burton plays like the demented flipside to Moulin Rouge!, sharing the stylised sets, the flashy zooms, the bigger-than-life acting and the overwhelming melodrama. This is not a bad thing. The story: a barber takes revenge on the judge who
sabotaged his marriage, locked him up and took his daughter.… Read the rest
If you’re ever visiting an Asian country, beware of vengeful pale women or little girls with runny mascara and long black hair. They seem to be all over the place these days, with a morbid fascination for multimedia. They’re making prank phone-calls, showing up in the static on your tv, ghoulishly abusing the internet or haunting videotapes.… Read the rest
We sell the book (by Khaled Hosseini) at the store I work at, it came highly recommended by reviewers and still I managed to put off reading it long enough for someone to make a movie out of it. I didn’t originally go for the book because it seemed to be one of those worthy ‘Oprah Book Club’ novels in which Big Life Lessons are learned.… Read the rest
The world gets hit by a virus – a mutation from a manmade cure for cancer – that changes most of the Earth’s population into crazed, violent, flesh-eating monsters who can’t stand sunlight. Will Smith plays Robert Neville, the last survivor in New York City and maybe the world, a scientist who is dedicated to finding a cure in a little laboratory under his home.… Read the rest
Hatchet is a sweet, romantic comedy in which… oh, hang on, that was Enchanted. As the title suggests Hatchet is a horror move, either a homage to or a rip-off from the overly gory 80’s ‘classics’, most notably Friday the 13th.… Read the rest
About twenty minutes into Enchanted, my balls fell off and I was able to enjoy it – more or less – as its intended audience: pre-pubescent girls. It starts with a cartoon of such sweetness that it made me feel an urge to brush my teeth.… Read the rest
